Today is
the 1st of September. It’s been officially a month since I sat for
my final BDS examination. And yes, I have made it! (or
maybe made it to become just another top up to the existing BDS graduates who
are waiting to be call for service)
As I looked
back at the things that I have been through this year, I’m glad how everything
had taken place. Daily, I was maturing; leaving the naïve self behind. I grew
not just as a student but as an adult. Certainly, I’m not the same person I was
when I started in first year. Life had been a bed of roses; you never know when
you’ll be prick by the thorns. Clinical years have been quite rough. Like any
other dental school, there were definitely unfairness in patients’ distribution,
gossip of what another person had done, hatred and selfishness going around. 3
years in clinic had gave me a glimpse of the real world outside. On top of
that, we have the stress of completing clinical quotas, checking with the lab
technicians whether the castings are done, preparing seminars presentation
slides etc. The 8am – 6.30pm time wasn’t sufficient to complete everything; or
maybe I was just too ambitious. By the time I crawl up the 2 flights of stairs
to my room, I just want to wish the world “good night and see you tomorrow”. It’s
really easy to lose yourself in the hectic schedule. Having said that, I really
appreciate the people that I have interacted with, the constant nurturing from
my self-less lecturers and the chance given by the patients to learn on them.
I
questioned myself after answering of the last OSCE station, “So this is the
end?” As I see my batch mates rejoicing
that it’s all over, there was a feeling of emptiness, lost and uncertainty for
me. Maybe I’m experiencing what they call as “post-graduation blues”.
All along I
have been a very determined person, I know what I want for my future and I
normally won’t change once I have decided. Currently, I know what I want but I
haven’t got the time to find out how to reach there. Still busy unpacking and
reorganizing my enormous amount of things I accumulated for the past 5 years. Honestly,
I have this fear of losing touch with what I have learned but the current
situation gives me no way out. I can’t touch patient until I obtain the
practicing certs.
Okay, now
let me update this blog with the events that had happen from where I stop the
last time.
In the
month of May, I was busy preparing for the annual National Dental Student
Scientific Conference. My team was one of the 2 teams chosen to compete in the
poster presentation category. We spent
around 1 month to design and finalize the poster. After trying all sorts of color,
we settled in for a dark blue background. Dr.Noorliza and our dean, Prof Rashid
also spent time to help us audit the final poster before printing. After
several mock presentations in front of our guide, Prof Sumanth and a panel of
judges, we were off to IIUM for the event. Despite the sudden change of time
limit, I was happy with our performance that day though we struggled with the
Q&A. MMMC won the overall champion as the other oral and poster competing
teams won one of the first 3 placings; with my team went home empty handed. That
time I felt awful and people around me gave me that sorry stare. I felt that I
let my guide and team mates down. Looking back now, that was actually a
blessing in disguise for me. I learned that maybe God was trying to make me set
my priority right in terms of doing a research. Winning is not everything,
people recognition isn’t everything, what’s more important is doing something relevant,
honesty and sincerely in your work so that what you do become beneficial to the
world. I know that people around me might think that I’m still sulking over the
lost; rest assure, I'm over it and am happy for how far we have come, it was a valuable experience and lesson
for me personally.
The junior
hosted our farewell dinner at the Holiday Inn Hotel, Melaka on the 11th
June. The theme was Old Hollywood. For the dinner, my batch came out with a
video filled with dental parodies and a sentimental ending. Though we had to do
it in a very limited amount of time, the end product was satisfying. To our
surprise, the juniors also prepared various farewell videos which were very touching
and I was actually tearing throughout the dinner. The performances prepared
were very unique. I love the farewell gift, the walk of fame star, certainly a
token to keep for the rest of my life. Ken and the team, kudos on the well
planned dinner!
The
addition of the title “Dr” in front of my name have never been my goal. What I have studied and worked so hard for these
past 5 years is so that I can be the individual that the society needs, to make
a difference in other people life. I know this is not the end for me; it’s just
the beginning, the first step into my future. I know God have plans for me and I
will trust His lead. Till next time, keep smiling~
Photo credits: Jewel, Christopher J., Farah Najiah
