After a lengthy sweet talk, the verdict was projected on the
screen. All eyes were fixed onto the table, desperately searching for our own
names and the final verdict. Dr. YAP RC – KP DALAT. My heart sank. That night I
cried as I skyped my parents. They were greatly displeasure, trying to
make me understand how I was being bullied. I went to work the next day with
puffy eyelids and most of the staffs just tried to ignore talking about my new
placement for fear they might turn on my lacrimal glands. That weekend I cried
my heart out while my housemate wasn’t around. I felt much better after that.
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| The Final Verdict |
The following week I went to Sri Aman to present our
innovation project. I didn’t really have the heart to do a good job because I
was still mad at my placement. As I see all the big bosses laughing and eating
away, enjoying the “get-away” from work, I couldn’t help to feel betray. I wore
a mask like face throughout the few days there and did not felt a little sense
of achievement after getting a consolation prize for the project. Ultimately, I
felt unappreciated and this place is not worth my time nor skills.
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| So what if you are a good student? |
That weekend, my parents flew in to accompany me to explore
the new work place. It wasn’t easy to get to Dalat from Sarikei. The 4 hours’
drive was a challenge for my 57 years old father whom refused to allow me to
take the wheels. That is my father’s love for his beloved daughter and I felt
extremely guilty at that point for choosing to work in this state. The first place we dropped by in Mukah was the
airport and then the bus station. It came upon me that it won’t be easy to rely
on public transportation to get out of this place as compare to Sarikei. I felt
locked in. We head over to Dalat after a simple lunch and stayed over at the
one and only inn in Dalat. The inn didn’t even have a valid contact number
online and I have to rely on my future boss to book a room for me. As we went around, I noticed that there is no
Shell nor Petronas petrol station. Tuck in a corner of the small town only
exist a small rundown unbranded petrol station which didn’t really seems
welcoming. It’s just like the scene of a deserted cowboy town. I settled to
stay in the quarters as there is hardly anywhere for rent. My mother bought me
entire new furniture as the existing ones were eaten up by wood-boring beetles.
We spent the next morning cleaning up the room before rushing back to Sarikei.
We reached Sarikei just in time before the loyal taxi uncle, Mr. Yung came by
to send my parents to Sibu airport that evening. As my parents hop on the taxi,
the feeling of homesickness kicked in. I shed a tear or two that night, trying
to comprehend the entire situation and how should I respond and move forward
from here on. I did some research on the possible route to go home and came to
a conclusion it would cost me 2 annual leaves to travel to and fro and minimum
RM650 just for air tickets. I was dumbfounded.
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| Parents to my rescue |
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| Mukah's Airport |
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| Sleepy Dalat Town on a Saturday afternoon |
The last week in Sarikei was full of goodbyes and farewell
meals. I was reluctant to leave the place that I grow to love over the past one
year. I realized I took for granted many beautiful relationships I made with
the people there and all the conveniences that town got to offer. I miss
everything of Sarikei.
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| The View of Sarikei from Above (Photo courtesy of: Izham) |
It’s been a week since I move to my new work place. I am upset about this placement, feels like I been banished into the
rural area to completely tamed down my future ambitions. It's as if I’m playing Jonah
runaway to Tarshish; I choosing to work in Sarawak, and now am trap in the
stomach of the big fish; Dalat. It is not a place to grow your skills
but conformed to become a chronic government dental officer. It feels like
being on an exile. Many told me to be optimistic, learn to accept and follow
the pace of life here but I don’t think that will do me any good, not
especially I’m burning with full desire to further into PG training. What more when my new DDO rejected my transfer letter and ask me try again next year. It is a
mockery to my passions and goals. I can’t help to feel angry and wanting to
blame on something or somebody at this point of time.
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| KP Dalat's new chair. Guess what time the chair was raise. |
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| Day 2 already started school project and to my surprise the same chair as my previous surgery in Sarikei! |
Maybe it’s time to leave for the better. Maybe it’s is time I
go to Nineveh. Maybe God place me in this desperate situation to make a
decision. Maybe….
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| Beloved staff of KP Sarikei with one last dab together |
Do not be anxious
about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with
thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends
all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
Ps: I wrote this emotional account just for my personal
record. I don’t crave for anyone’s sympathy neither any criticism against me
are welcome. I’m just being human here.
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| I miss these people! (Photo courtesy of: Aileen) |
